Its 2:30 AM, just woke up panicked and fear stricken. What wonders me is that I do not remember what I was dreaming about but whatever is it, but it was my worst nightmares.
It was this morning I met her at the cafe. It was a chilly hill morning which was gradually warming up with the sunshine. She as usual was looking elegant. Her innocent complexion was in true contrast with her curly black hairs who were trying to irritate her by falling over again and again. She was feeling bit awkward because she had misplaced her hair clip. She did not want to let her feel embarrassed that what I might be thinking. And me…where was I…???Oh yes…I was there only but I was not there. You must be thinking that is he gone insane. What does it mean I was there but I was not there…??? Actually I was caught in that moment in her little battle with her hairs. She seemed to be like a toddler trying to figure out how to get out of his little couch. Her cute anger when her fingers were getting into her hairs and she muttering, “I hate you. Damn. I hate you”. She meant the curly hairs. Whereas I knew her she liked them though but not at that moment. I was thinking about life and look life itself is sitting in front of me. I was in a time loop mesmerized with her beauty and innocence because looking up so great and natural that I didn’t even notice that she was hailing her hand in front of my eyes. “Hello, where are you? Get down to earth”, she giggled. ” Oh yes…”.
We talked that afternoon a lot about this and that. This cuisine and that book. This movie being best that actress being bit fat. All the nuisance we both could think of but that nuisance was best. We laughed lost in each other’s wits and emotions did not realized that it was getting late for her to be home after all it was evening now. How the time passed with her I hardly noticed?
We did not want to leave that evening not even wanted to leave our important talks hang up in middle. She looked at me with big eyes. Water pool were puddled in them. I knew she too didn’t want to go. So did I. We walked upto her ride. The silent walk mixed up with the feelings of love, challenges in that love life and most of all the how to be together forever. I was listening her heart beats and she mine. We reached to her ride. She sat and just turned on the ignition. We were not speaking to each other from past 10 minutes. She was just standing still idling the moped. She didn’t want to go. Me neither.
Suddenly she shut off the engine. I was surprised. She hastily stepped towards me and hugged me hard. I too responded and hugged her tightly. Our heartbeats were synchronizing, singing a song of likeness, fondness and togetherness. Both of us were standing still in that parking lot. Silent. That moment meant to be silent and it was. I wished the whole life was that moment. I wished.
She immediately turned away and our hands slipped through each other’s hand. Just few more minutes I was begging God I wanted to hold her hand. In fact I want to hold her hand for this and coming lives.
That moment when she was leaving, I realized the reason behind is my worst nightmare. She leaving for home only and even though we will meet tomorrow, symbolically, showed up to me how empty I’m without her, how empty will my life will be. Her presence is a bliss and absence a hell.
Then. Now. Forever