From past few days I’m getting the flashes of my life till date, in bits and pieces. Life started making sense to me when I started decoding of the human existence in the physical world and in the abstract dimension. I look back when it all was fun when someone asked about life to me. Carefree, joyful, happy times of childhood. But this is not the course of the life always. We all are made of playing dough which our master tampers in various shapes and sizes. So sometimes you learn the hard facts of the very early in the life. It can be due to lot of factors family, financial, social, etc.
The outcome of growth and up bringing in these hard times is that, you are focused on the taking up the responsibilities of life as compared to other people. Some say people who mature early in their life due to the hardships, convert one to a kind of pessimistic person with hard wired practical approach and the one whose normal behavior as per the society won’t be in line with the “Normal” people. In other ways these individuals are afraid of losing something so much that they can be termed as overly reacting. No, it’s not like that. We react that way because, we cannot show us calm outside when we fear of losing the someone we love. Life has already taken a lot of exams and this exam of losing someone we cannot fail. Because people is what we earn in our lives among the different situations. For I am not upto that mark on handling a relation because I never dedicated that much verbal communication excercises with people around me. I just felt they are a part of me. Whoever it was or is I have tried to treat them as a part of my soul. Actually I have a very, you may call it weird, but yes urge to correct the things with the one’s whose heart I have mistakenly hurt. I believe in learning from my mistake and correcting it with the same person whom I have hurt rather than showing my false maturity with someone else.
When I try to recall I do not have so much memories in hard form or the digital ones because I rarely got a chance to create them. All I remember is in my head. Someday if someone comes asks me so tell me how your day to day fun were or activities or even how you looked when you were in elementary or high school, I have none. Or even if I’m having, that will be very few. In fact at times you also become too much protective to your kin and clan. When you are so used to losing the things, situation oriented protectiveness is injected by the circumstances automatically which makes you afraid of losing the near ones.
So until I met her I was the same over cautious, bit loud spoken, over focused, group following human being. If I were to quote, I would have quoted like this that the memories that I have gardened are more than the ones I have gathered in my life before her entry in my life. She had felt the pain that I had been through. She has not seen my childhood or my adolescence phase but she somehow decoded the patch required to update my behavioral/social /emotional software. So I have the memories of her being the light bearer for me as if I was waiting for her to pull me out of the darkness all my life. She is practical, emotional and I swear the least expressive when it comes to day to day interaction while at the same time is none less than in expressing in grandeur when time comes. We do not need a reason to talk or communicate, in fact we are like a novel which you can start from any page and I can promise it will not make your head spin regarding the plot from the previous chapters. Our bond of faith, trust, love and togetherness is the core of my memories. She is the best memory that I have ever had. So the best part of my memories of life is filled by her presence. I have forgiven the life’s hardships now… 🙂
—Destiny vs Serendipity