The Bar…

The bar was buzzing with the sound of conversations. Some loud, some normal. The group in the corner was celebrating the victory in the football match at weekend. Ohh and there was there the office group chatting and having an official get together. Some were playing and betting on the snooker game in the corner. Slow jazz music was filling the vacant spaces between the people. It was the month of December. It had rained all day.He was sitting on the chair on the bartender’s service area. Their laid down five shots of tequila in front of him with his coat on his lap. He was holding an aged Scottish whisky 60ml in his hands. He was just brooding while he was rolling the glass in his hand.

“You seem to be an alone spirit who is enjoying the spirit alone…???”, a drunk voice caught his attention. He looked with half closed eyes while trying to concentrate on the figure who uttered those words. He was the guy whom he had known as a familiar face in this very bar since the day he was transferred to this city. “I have seen you a lot of times here lately. You must be new in the neighborhood…?”, the person said. “Yeah…Hi… Tarun…”, he introduced himself out of courtesy. “Sam…”, the person responded.

“I live with my wife an two children on the Seventh avenue across the Carter Street. Today is Saturday so it’s my husband’s day out…”, he smiled while sipping his whiskey. “Glad to hear that…”, Tarun replied. The conversation then started between both of them. They talked on the cricket’s game tomorrow. Weekend activities nearby. Discussed on the two cultures. By the time now drinks started flowing more frequently.

“So are you married…??? Where are your wife and children…?, Sam asked.“I’m not married yet Sam.”, he gave an expressionless answer. “Ohh…”,Sam responded, “My mistake. Looking at you anyone can perceive that you must be married man. So any plans in near future…?”, Sam aksed as they both were sharing a matching carmadarie.

“Well Sam it is nice of asking. No offence. But can we talk about something else…?”,drunk Tarun tried to divert the conversation.There was a pause while both had their drinks. “She had her reasons that I’m unaware or you can say I’m aware sub consciously. Anyways lets talk about something else.”, Tarun called in for another glass of whiskey. Sam looked weirdly towards Tarun. “Well it was I who pushed her far from me. She had always put her best in the relation but it was I who did not reciprocated with same intensity. Anyways, lets talk about something else.”, Tarun tried to not start the conversation.

While sipping the drink Tarun said,”Sam…You are married right…!!! We too were, just waiting to live upto this relation in reality. But we ourselves have put a jinx on that dream, we did not need some outsider. And it was me to put jinx on both of our happiness. You love and love with full devotion but physical distances play harsh. I never got to spend much time with her in physical than virtual one. I was not able to make that trust level which would have been deeper if we both have met often. I read somewhere that apart from communication on phone or chats nothing can communicate better than your physical presence. Your eye contact that speaks more than your words. Your touch on each other’s hand gives you more faith than your hours of calls. But it’s my fault in all of this that I never forced her for spending time together. I have miffed over her way of showing care to me because damn it that I felt so helpless that I could not hold her in my arms when she needed me. These long distances, I’ll never forgive. Moving forward I believed that let’s not put a jinx and wait for the approval from our parents for our marriage. So all the time I was building the bond strong from the distance. In some way I felt not to jeopardize her image and her value in her home due to my presence as we both belonged to two different noble sects and never wanted her to be get judged by her clan. In our part of the world we wanted to marry each other’s parents.”

Sam gazed surprizingly. “Yeah Sam… and we both were ready for this with lots of enthusiasm”, Tarun responded while calling in some more drinks. “Our destinies were intertwined. We fell apart lots of times but still got up together with each other Sam but sometimes we fall short of expectation for someone and sometimes they.And this happens when we are sure of them (expectations), whether its me or her. I had certain expectations from her but never let her know because I felt that not to put a jinx. And for her I felt I fell short of expectations for taking this relation to next level, which was getting married.”.

“How long has it been…? Have you ever tried to contact her…?”, Sam asked Tarun. “Long enough Sam. My each day without her has been equivalent to years.Time heals everything. Everything. She will and me too without beside each other will adapt in life and every moment of the time we spent together will become a fable in our hearts. I just hold a belief now that she is happy wherever she is and whomsoever she is with. She carries a big heart, underneath she can hide her emotions and desires just for the sake of people around her. But I’m not like her. I don’t want to live life where someone else take her place in my life and vice versa. I don’t even f@#&$# know whether she is married by now or not. Damn it. I want to know how is she but I can’t. Why…??? I don’t know. Why…??? It’s complicated. Maybe because I want to respect her obligations. I may sound a loser and philosophical because I don’t have her on my side but it’s not like that. I want to earn her. I want to be her pride. I want to be her first good morning and last goodnight. I want to scream Sam. I want to tell her that I mean each an every word of my love said to her. I want to tell her that I mean all my cozy expressions, my hush loving secrets, my all innocent ways of expressing love to her. I want to shout her name out. I want to run towards her. I want to hug her passionately. I want to kiss her. I want to tell her that I love her and loving her is best thing I can ever do in my life.” grinned Tarun in her memories.

“You have had enough for the day Tarun. Let me drop you till your apartment.”, Sam insisted.

“It’s Okay Sam. I’ll be fine. See you later”, Tarun grabbed his coat, his laptop bag and started to walk out of bar with clumsy steps.

For one thing he stopped at the gate of bar on the notes of song Abhi naa jao chhodkar which the bartender just plugged in. An acoustic version. He turned towards Sam and said, “ Hey Sam…Nice to meet you and by the way I don’t drink. I felt her missing today so hopped in the bar for few drinks otherwise I was coming here for playing snooker. The drink was planned to be with her.”He gave a painful smile and walked away.

The lift was ringing the floors while he was standing drunk waiting for his floor. He pulled out the keys from pocket and took the step forward towards his apartment. There she was sleeping on the side stairs with her head on her kneels. “The cocktail was hard…”,Tarun slapped himself thrice to get senses back. Was it a effect of alcohol or was she really there…???

Peace.

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